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Joke of the Day

"I was pooping in a bathroom with no windows when the there was a power outage. When I had to wipe my butt I couldn't see shit."

"""She's smart, has a great personality, an unbelievable body, and she makes an amazing duckface in pictures."" - No man ever"

"Did you hear about the homeless artist who got turned down in his submission for a classic string toy rebranding? It was a no-go hobo yo-yo logo."

"cried at the dentist today but at least they thought it was because of them"

"The woman who injected her 8-year old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody. The child didn't look surprised."

"Why did the woman sky-diver wear a jock strap? So she didn't whistle on the way down."

"I grow herbs in my bed. Bed thyme."

"Wife: (shouting) Stop watching porn.. ... I can hear it in the kitchen Husband:I'm not, it's Sharapova vs Serena... I'm watching tennis"

"What has 10 letters and starts with Gas? Automobile"

"How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? Just one. But he has to check it 100 times one for each watt."