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Joke of the Day

"I ask myself, ""How did I get here?,"" I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower."

"What does a blonde and a tornado have in common? They both start blowing but in the end they take everything from you."

"What did little Hitler get for his birthday? His Third Treich."

"What's an SJW's favourite animal? A Pander."

"Whoever said you can't teach an old dog new tricks was so wrong. I taught mine how to play dead and she's been doing it for a year straight."

"What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek? Ready or not, hair I comb!"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number...you've probably never heard of it."

"My private health insurance really needs to start covering retail therapy."

"What did the mute say to the priest? Nothing"

"You know, I used to hate my haircut... ... but it's really growing on me!"