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Joke of the Day
"My hairdresser doesn't cut my hair any longer.... He cuts it shorter instead."
Next Joke
"A zombie walks into a bar and asks for a shot. It was a 12 gauge."
"A female friend of mine recently got Tinder. Tinder: Where ""Get laid tonight"" isn't just something you see on pornsite banner ads."
"Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect."
"Oh, I just love it when people are being sarcastic. That's just really great. Thanks a lot."
"""wat can i say.. im a people person"" said the man who was MADE OUT OF PEOPLE"
"What's the difference between a hockey player and a feminist hippie chick? A hockey player will take a shower after three periods."
"Still up can't sleep thinking about how i can infuse kush into shampoo"
"[Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist"
"[NSFW] If abortion is a kill..... If abortion is a kill then jerking off is a massacre"