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Joke of the Day

"So apparently ""You can't tell me what to do, you're not my real dad!"" isn't of much use when dealing with armed cops."

"What does an egg say to another egg? Nothing, eggs can't talk."

"You say ""kiss ass,"" I say ""rim job enthusiast."""

"Why can't two Asian parents have a Caucasian baby? Two Wongs don't make a white"

"Which snakes are found on cars? Windscreen vipers."

"Two wind turbines in a field and one says to the other ""Do you like music?"" He replies ""I'm a big metal fan."""

"a quick zinger If your uncle jack helped you off a horse, would you help your uncle jack off a horse?"

"If you stand in front of a mirror & repeat your top tweet 3X, your pretwitter self appears, smacks you & throws your phone in the toilet."

"Why does Bill Cosby carry around a nutcracker everywhere he goes? So he can bust a nut without having to rape anybody."

"So I hear they're building a new Cloud City... In orLANDO Florida."