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Joke of the Day
"I'm not a competitive person... I'll be the first to admit it."
Next Joke
"I like to put Aunt Jemima next to the Uncle Ben in my pantry. I'm hoping for a love connection."
"How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb? Tell him the lightbulb is his mother."
"What body part is most sensitive to a man while he is masturbating? His ears."
"Two Helium atoms were acting funny HeHe"
"I'm not saying he is out of shape, but... ... he calls the gym 'James' because he doesn't feel familiar enough for nicknames."
"Just got a Life Alert bracelet. Now, if I get a life, I'll immediately be alerted..."
"*on a first date* Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret"
"Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life."
"""Are you a member of any organized political party?"" ""No. I'm a Republican."""