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Joke of the Day
"How do you make soup golden? You add 24 carrots."
Next Joke
"[leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket"
"I'm a giver. *gives you a hard time*"
"A bunch of kids took their mom's sisters to an EDM festival. It was all aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts..."
"Turn your proctologist into a magician by stuffing 45 feet of scarves in your butt."
"Cancer cures smoking."
"What does the Starship Enterprise have in common with toilet paper? They circle Uranus searching for clingons."
"A friend asked me to do their hair for a rastafarian party... I'm dreading it"
"What did the Nazi say to the clock that went tick-tick-tick? Ve have vays of making you tock..."
"I only buy expensive baby food with cute babies on the label because I'm willing to pay extra if it means my kids aren't eating ugly babies."