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Joke of the Day

"I stand right next to the ""God Hates Fags"" guy with a sign that says ""Please Ignore My Ex-Boyfriend"""

"Wishy-washy sounds like someone that's optimistically clean."

"Me: Do you like the new ceiling fan? Her: Yeah, but the fan light is really dull. Fan light: Ok wow like I'm right here"

"I can never write a joke without being criticized about the punchline So fuck you guys"

"When my goldfish starts acting like a jerk I remind him that his bowl is microwave-safe"

"I was in Starbucks the other day and I saw a guy who dropped his coffee on the floor by mistake..... I said to the man ""wow, you actually dropped it like it's hot"""

"Wake Me Up Before You YOLO. #RuinAn80sSong"

"Buzz Aldrin is the second man on the moon... Neil before me"

"Nice empty fish tank It'd be a shame if someone were to FILL IT WITH SNAKES! *the terrarium is invented*"

"what's red and invisible? no tomatoes."