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Joke of the Day

"Dating a redneck The only thing worse than the friend zone is the family zone. But when a redneck says she loves you like a brother, its go time."

"I used to work in a darkroom developing photographs... but I quit because there was too much negativity."

"How many livers do people have? I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay."

"I go through the 7 stages of grief just to get to work everyday."

"What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines"

"Why are there no black snowmen? WHITE POWDER!!!"

"I've just started playing the triangle in a reggae band I stand at the back and ting."

"""Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, I know you're asleep but I just wanted to let you know that I'm like 14 miles away from your house right now!"" -Trains"

"Have you noticed that the ""&"" symbol looks like a guy dragging his ass across the floor?"

"I can't come into work. I opened a cursed sarcophagus and now I gotta put a pharaoh's soul to rest. I DUNNO, TAD, I'LL PROBABLY BE IN MONDAY"