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Joke of the Day
"Never trust atoms. They make up everything."
Next Joke
"Scientists have shown that putting the phrase ""Scientists have shown"" in front of anything will make people read it."
"What do you say if you're testing a new firearm? ""I'll take a shot"""
"Life is like a roller coaster... The easiest part is the beginning, the rest is a non-stop pain in the ass."
"Just got my invitation to Lady Gaga's wedding reception. I can choose between beef or chicken. Not for the meal, that's the dress code."
"Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs."
"According to MyFitnessPal, I have been dead for 6 weeks."
"Do you know why turds are tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut."
"Boss: Isn't your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move? Crab: [to HR person] see this is what I'm talking about"
"My GOD there is nothing on earth I want to eat more than this Bath & Body Works candle"