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Joke of the Day

"How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? **ONLY ONE** But the light bulb has to want to change."

"Whenever I drink I turn into Jason Bourne. I can't remember much, fighting comes naturally, and I have a sudden need to evade the law."

"What three things does a woman need to do an oil change on her car? Two boobs and a man"

"To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy."

"A Frenchman is buying a bread stick and the cashier asks.. ""are you okay carrying this loaf?"" to which he replies ""baguette""."

"The Spanish national soccer team visited an orphanage in Brazil today ""It was hard to see their sad and hopeless faces"", said one of the orphans"

"What did Tennessee? The same thing as Arkansas"

"If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my life I'd have *n* dollars"

"The U.S Election is Kind of Like an Attractive Bisexual Because whether they go with a man or a woman, you know they're fucked."

"I was sexually assaulted by a ghost. Didn't see it cuming."