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Joke of the Day
"I was sexually assaulted by a ghost. Didn't see it cuming."
Next Joke
"Melon love Two melons in a romantic relationship were discussing their feelings for each other. ""Honeydew you love me?"" asked the first. ""Yes,"" replied the second, ""but we cantaloupe."""
"Teachers of the modern era who still expect hard copies of assignments can't bitch when I turn in a margarita-soaked paper."
"This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can't think what possessed her."
"Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all 'E's."
"It's 364 days until Christmas And people already have their lights up!"
"Did you hear there was a nuclear explosion in space this morning?! Most people call it the sun. Note: My dad pulled this on me this morning. My friend hit me when I told them."
"A wise man once said... ""If you make a woman laugh, you've half-undressed her."" However, if you half-undress and she laughs, that's a different thing altogether."
"Why can't Edward leave Russia? He's Snowden."
"Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?"