101570

Joke of the Day

"Nice guys finish last And they generally warn you just before they do."

"Two guys walk into a bar One guy says, 'I'd like some H2O.' The other guy says, 'I'd like some H2O, too.' The second guy died. The bartender is a chemist."

"This homeless guy asked me for money, I was like ""I don't think so, not with that ugly voice"""

"I met a 14 year old girl on the internet... She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?"

"The picture heading read ""Panorama!"" I thought it said ""Paranormal"" I wasted hours staring at these elongated images looking for ghosts."

"What did one boob say to the other? You're my breast friend. Badum tits"

"Chuck Norris was kicked off the show ""Extreme Couponing"" the producers couldn't stand watching entire grocery chains file bankruptcy because of Chuck Norris."

"*lights dim in restaurant* DATE: did it just become sexier in here? ME: I CAN'T SEE MY MENU"

"What did the ground say to the earthquake? It's your fault!"

"First monster: I have a hunch. Second monster: I thought you were a funny shape."