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Joke of the Day

"What did the conspiracy theorist use as his breakup line? Baby, I'm sorry, but I can't be with someone who's as real as the Moon landing..."

"A Chicken and an Egg are laying in bed together. The chicken takes an unsatisfied drag on her cigarette and says ""Well. I guess we answered that question."""

"Dog 1: Help me with this crossword clue. Outer covering of a tree. 4 letters. Dog 2: woof? Dog 1: You're not even trying."

"Give a man a match... [inspirational quote] Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for an hour... Light a man of fire, well, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real"

"Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A: Catnip!"

"A man is making moonshine. But the machine isn't working. He goes to see his friend Gino. Gino looks at the machine and says ""That's cause it's a still!"""

"My computer is going very very ... FAST. IT Helpdesk joke"

"What's the key to finding love? Rohypnol"

"If we get to have sex with our valentines on Valentine's Day I can't wait until Presidents' Day."