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Joke of the Day

"Government Shutdown: Day 13 Anthony Weiner decides to help. He takes a photo. He tweets. Congress now sees where balls are located."

"What is the difference between an american and a canadian? 69 cents."

"Stranger man at the beach asked me, ""Y'all got a boat?"" I said we have three, but they're old Fisher-Price models. It took him a moment."

"This computer you charged me L950 for doesn't work....and you said it would be trouble free. It is I charged you L950 for the computer but you're getting all that trouble absolutely free!"

"I've heard addicts claim that heroin became their ""God"" but... ...they're always taking his name in vein."

"Best alzheimer's joke"

"Police chase I was racing towards a cliff with police sirens ringing in my ears when I noticed my mirror was broken and I realized there was no looking back now"

"Now that Steve Jobs is gone we'll never ever know why c**t autocorrects to Cynthia. WHO WAS CYNTHIA?!?"

"What does Bill Say to Hillary after Sex? Honey I'll be Home in 20 minutes."

"""What should we put in the middle of this mall?"" How bout some chairs? ""That idea sucks"" A little pond to throw money in? ""Oh hell yeah"""