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Joke of the Day

"[interviewer looks up from resume] in the skills, you wrote ""completing sentences? Yes."" wow. you ""'re hired?"" amaz- ""on prime?"" get out."

Next Joke
 
"Him: Let's grill this steak Me: *slams table, screams at steak* WHO SOLD YOU THE DRUGS Him: that's not- Me: Refusing to talk? BIG MISTEAK"
"Why is Kylo Ren so lonely all the time? He's Ben Solo his whole life"
"If you watch COPS backwards it's just a bunch of people overcoming miraculous obstacles to win free drugs"
"Confucius says: Woman who sleeps with judge..... receives honorable discharge"
"How many bruthas does it take to clean a kitchen? None, that's women's work!"
"The DJ just asked me ""How low can you go..."" So I slept with his wife and took custody of his kids."
"When preparing blood sausage, never cook it in the same pan as crip sausage."
"""you are the only one who understands me"" i whisper to a piece of pizza."
"I feel like auto-correct should know by now that I'd never ask anyone to ""jazz"" all over my face."