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Joke of the Day

"I read the instruction manual for my new watch It was about time"

"Racist joke NSFW: What do you say to a black man in a suit? ""Will the defendant please rise"""

"Me: ""Bond."" *lowers sunglasses* ""James Bond."" Cashier: ""You've been doing that for 35 minutes. Are you going to buy the sunglasses or not?"""

"That awkward moment when your stormtrooper army loses a battle to a bunch of teddy bears with sticks and stones."

"Yeah the sun is hot, but have you ever stopped to think about its personality?"

"If life was fair, Ryan Gosling would have been born with Ray Romano's voice."

"Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !"

"Princess Dianna had dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glovebox."

"A man heard that over 90% of car accidents happen within 15 km of home. So he moved."

"My mom yelled at my sister "" GET OUTTA MY PURSE!""... My sister yelled back ""I'M TOO BIG TO BE IN YOU'RE PURSE!"""