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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I smoke a cigarette after sex because it's hard to explain that I'm lighting a match to get rid of the smell."

"Girls are so confusing She said ""don't stop"" and now I'm in jail."

"*rings bell* ""Can I help you?"" Yes I'd like a dragon on my back an- *starts pooping on a crucifix* WTF? *checks sign on door* ""Taboo Artist"""

"I Used To Date A Girl With A Lazy Eye... Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time."

"You see, the thing about dark humor is... it's a lot like food. Not everybody gets it."

"FRIEND: What 3 books would you have on a desert island? ME: My first book is more books. F: What? These aren't wish M: Second book's a TV."

"I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!"

"Hooters is starting a home delivery service. It's called Knockers."

"Why do short people laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls."

"Where's the best place to hide after committing a murder? Behind a badge."