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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I smoke a cigarette after sex because it's hard to explain that I'm lighting a match to get rid of the smell."

"How do you annoy a Reddittor? Repost"

"Two dogs are arguing And one of them says ""Well your mom's a bitch!"""

"I used to be addicted to deli sandwiches ...but I quit cold turkey"

"Instead of calling it them locker combinations.... We should call the locker permutations."

"How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel? No ballroom"

"How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries"

"where do you send a jewish kid with ADD? to a concentration camp."

"What's the most fucked up thing you can do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet!"

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night. She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."""