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Joke of the Day

"I made up a new word plagiarism"

"ELI5: with the recent outbreak of Ebola why hasn't Madagascar sealed it's borders yet?"

"I saw my friend at the pool today for the first time in a long time and I said... Hey! WATER you doing here?"

"How do you tell a good joke on reddit? Wash it up over and over again until you get gold!"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid to see a lentil."

"I tried inventing a belt with a clock on it... It was a waist of time"

"The best part of waking up is... nothing. Waking up blows. Fuck you, Folgers."

"You're only as awkward as you say you are...out loud...in front of people...who were in a private conversation...that didn't involve you."

"Tattooing bullet holes where I had a stomach ache so I never forget what I've been through."

"Cemetery joke Man walks into a cemetery- ""You have any openings?"" The graves keeper nods ""Lots!"""