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Joke of the Day

"*talking to mailman* So are you like, made of mail? *mailman laughs* ""sure, kid"" So that must mean.. *fireman & garbageman walk by* Holy shi"

"Me: I crave your sweetness on my lips Her: Who are you talking to in there? M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody"

"Did you hear about the blonde who got detention for flirting with boys in class? She told the teacher she wanted to go down in history..."

"Girl can I ask you a question *gets down on one knee* would you like to make $8,000 a week working from home"

"You know the difference between my birthday and a courtroom? My dad shows up at a courtroom."

"What do you get for stealing a slut's vegetables? Herpeas."

"What do you call it when Batman skips church Christian Bale"

"For a tennis player, what is the perfect crime? Racketeering"

"I'm looking for the funniest short joke ever Not short as in small, short as in short"

"I hope I never meet the girl of my dreams because she's a thirty foot half witch half crocodile who chases me endlessly through darkness."