100343

Joke of the Day

"Confucius say... Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night."

"What's the difference between a joke and a retorical question?"

"[first date] ""So, I heard you work at the circus."" [shallows bread stick whole] Nope. ""You sure about that?"" [chewing on glass] Yup"

"If the Mexicans are taking all of the jobs, then why do Koreans still rule the nail salons? Because Tu is better than Juan."

"9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 100 are geting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there mate"

"but how do I know if a guy hates me FOR ME"

"Why did Jon Snow go to the Apple Store? For the Watch."

"Why do people who like bondage shy away from anonymous one-night stands? There's no strings attached."

"Did you hear about the NASCAR driver who went the wrong way around the track? It turned out to be all right."

"4-year-old: Is there candy in that drawer? Me: No. 4: Can I check? Me: Do you have a warrant?"