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Joke of the Day

"My mate David was a victim of ID theft Now we just call him Dav"

"Why are womens feet shorter than mens? So they can stand closer to the sink."

"What do you call a country where everyone is pissed? A urination."

"What do you call it when you smoke weed and work out at the same time? Getting all high and mighty"

"What do you say to ensure another Jehovah's Witness never comes by your house again? Sir, have you heard about the great workout of crossfit?"

"What's the difference between a tuna, a piano and a gluestick? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna."

"How much does Jesus love you? Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)"

"Have you heard about the first restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere."

"[car wreck] [hand reaches out] ""Take my hand. I'm Chad Kroeger from the popular band Nickelback."" [I let the flames slowly bake me alive]"

"I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year Roll on 2017"