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Joke of the Day

"I caught my SO putting plastic utensils in the waffle iron. I yelled,""What are you doing?! That will ruin it!"" She replies,""Yesterday you told me to lego your eggos. Make up your mind already!"""

Next Joke
 
"The rules of weed do not work for pussy.. If you can smell it across the room, it's not the good shit."
"Whats the difference between Caesar and Casanova? Caesar said:""I came, I saw, I conquered."" Casanova said:""I saw, I conquered, I came."""
"GOD: hey can I have one of your ribs Adam: what for GOD: uhh science project Adam: you hate science GOD: look do u wanna get laid or not"
"What is Donald Trump's favorite Christmas song? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas"
"There wad a 4 car pile up in Mexico today. . 93 people died."
"What's the difference between yogurt and America? Yogurt could develop a culture after 200 years"
"A giraffe walks into a bar... The giraffe trips and falls over, the bartender says, ""what's that lyin over there."" And someone replies, ""that's not a lion, that's a giraffe."""
"I remember the last thing my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. I wonder how far I can kick this bucket?"
"Honey! I'm pregnant! Hello pregnant, I'm Dad."