100208

Joke of the Day

"The worst part of going to church with my family is when we get caught on the Kiss Cam."

"I asked my wife if we could have sex even though she was on her period.. ...she said she may be able to pull some strings"

"I've had second thoughts about masturbation... On one hand, it feels great. On the other hand, you don't feel a thing."

"Is Google male or female? Female because she won't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion"

"What do you do when your dishwasher breaks? Remarry"

"If she licks all the frosting off her face with a single 360 degree sweep of the tongue, she might be Scooby Doo."

"Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. ""Why are we running so fast?"" asked one. ""Because"" said the second ""it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"""

"They're getting rid of all our Fossil Fuels to go 100% Electric?! Oil go Volt! No votes, really? No one gets this joke, I see."

"I asked two Uber drivers to pick each other up and am watching them chase each other in circles around my block until they run out of gas."

"I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either"