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Joke of the Day
"A bird in hand may be worth two in a bush, but a nut in a bush is worth two in a hand."
Next Joke
"Believe what a plumber says They've seen some shit."
"What do you call a midget physic that has escaped from prison?? A small medium at large"
"A one-liner a came up with. I recently bought a superconducting electric heater... I was not impressed!"
"""This is not a drill!"" -Lying electric drill that refers to itself in the third person"
"Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? They only had 2 trucks"
"Me: It actually takes light around 8 minutes to travel from the Sun to Earth. Her: Umm light is instant. Everyone knows that. Me: Go home."
"Five years ago my boss asked me where I wanted to be in five years. I finally know the answer: Not Here"
"A Mexican magician announced... ""For my next trick, I will count to ten and vanish into thin air."" He began ""Uno....dos.."" Then he disappeared without a tres."
"In Soviet Russia Assholes are like Opinions KGB only lets you keep one of them"