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Joke of the Day

"Being a vegan makes no sence. My food is vegan so I dont have to be. Edit: Sense"

"I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark."

"Two strangers are introduced ""you have such a lovely name"" ""thanks, I got it for my birthday"""

"If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. I can't stand the sound of clapping."

"INTERVIEWER: Any questions for me? ME: How do I access the WIFI? INTERVIEWER: I meant about the job ME: Is that all capital?"

"Why do guys think to much They have two heads"

"""well that's a load on my back"" - relieved slut"

"Who is the king of the pencil case? The Ruler"

"I wanna get in touch with those teachers who told me that I have potential, and be like, ""Ha! I didn't amount to anything! In your face!"""

"Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants? He wanted a spare in case he had a split."