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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar? A liar."
Next Joke
"1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes."
"Hey, i'm proud of my heritage that's why sometimes, I don't even wear my hood at rallies."
"I used to be really interested in drilling holes Now I just find it boring."
"What does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeno business"
"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter a dick up your arse."
"How many potatoes do you need to kill an Irish man? None"
"Broken Window Wife: You need to fix the bathroom window, then neighbor can see me every time I shower. Husband; I know, he saw you and called me to tell me he's paying for the window repair."
"Stop the presses! My paninis can wait."
"I'll never understand the appeal of TV shows about food. To me that's like listening to the Victoria Secret Fashion Show on the radio."