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Joke of the Day

"What is your favorite change a lightbulb joke?"

"I said to the chemist: ""Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?"" He said: ""Why?"" I said: ""She keeps waking up."""

"[girlfriend yelling] You have an unhealthy attachment to your pets with weird names! [she knocks over my dead hamster's shrine] GILGAMESH!"

"I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what's going on and there's a lot of sex and wine drinking."

"I went to the doctor for a checkup. A friend asked ""Which doctor?"" I replied ""No, a medical one."""

"Sign over the urinal in Dad's favorite bar We keep this restroom clean because we aim to please ... so, you aim too, please."

"I never wanted to believe that my father was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"#jenesuispascharlie #jesuisrdkw Is it that difficult to get over your identity crisis reddit?"

"God gave you alcohol, sex and music. Why do you all talk about politics?!"

"Chickens making knock knock jokes. -Why did the chicken cross the road? -Are you kidding me? -To get to the ugly witches house. Knock, knock. -Who's there? -The chicken."