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Joke of the Day

"You'd think by now the Food Network would have late night adult shows with roast beef, cream pies and salad tossing."

"I'm not sure about my stand on the abortion issue.... On one side, I love to kill babies but on the other side, I hate to give women a choice."

"Work is for people who don't know how to fish."

"My girlfriend is in the hospital after she ate a giant bacon cheese burger. It was mine."

"What do mexicans drink in the morning? Dos Eggys"

"My cousin writes a lot of dark, emo poetry His parents say not to worry, though - he's just going through a phrase."

"Gas dropped to 77 cents a gallon in some places in Michigan. But don't bother, it was leaded."

"My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: the one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor."

"What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Father's day."

"Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Also, no outside food, they are so strict about that."