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Joke of the Day

"Two Communists are hanging out at a nudist park... One says, ""So, have you read Marx?"" ""Yeah, it's these damn wicker chairs."""

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"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no *body* to go with"
"[demetri martin] A drunk driver is very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. ""Go left."" -""Dude those are trees."" ""trust me."""
"I can't stand people who end sentences with prepositions! It just pisses me off!"
"why is 6 afraid of 7 ? because 7 is a child molester"
"How do you make a Welshman fall asleep? Ask him how much sex he's had in his lifetime."
"Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He's very serious about trying to make the USA grate again."
"What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? an Investigator"
"Santa is a dependent clause because"
"Doctor Doctor I think I'm turning into a frog Your just playing too much croquet!"