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Joke of the Day

"About that loan officer that had too many frozen margaritas over the weekend . . . He was a lender with a blender on a bender . . ."

"My teacher thought my essay on Brokeback Mountain was irrelevant to the class. But he said he wanted an essay about the male gays in film!"

"I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear."

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *gargling noise*"

"Yeah, cigarettes make you cool but they also take years off your life. Those are just two benefits."

"Had to quit my job as an underwear model because the photographer kept telling me, ""I'm just a cashier"" and that I ""need to leave Macy's."""

"My therapist says I'm paranoid. He didn't *actually* say that I but I know he was thinking it."

"PIGEON MAGICIAN: I want you to pick a car, any car...DONT TELL ME!. Ok [shits on windscreen] is THIS the car you chose?"

"What Do You Call Fake Spaghetti? An impasta!"

"I told a wild dog to go away... It dingo anywhere."