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Joke of the Day
"Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you'll never forget....."
Next Joke
"GOLDFISH: i swear i'll have your money by tomorrow GOLDFISH MOBSTER: what money? GOLDFISH: who are you? GOLDFISH MOBSTER: where's my mon"
"I dont tweet much abt my goal to poop every letter of the alphabet. Did the easy ones (C, J) yrs ago. Just toughies left. Your B & W. Your Q"
"*Leaves home for the day... *Fears I left something behind *Runs inside to see baby playing with my phone. *Grabs phone & leaves."
"*lady shares a wallet photo of her son* *i pull out a 20-part accordion wallet photo set of my dogs*"
"At first I thought drag racing games would be difficult.. Turns out, they're pretty straight forward."
"There are two kinds of numbers... Rational numbers and Woman numbers."
"When your boss asks you ""do I look stupid to you?"" it's a rhetorical question I know this now"
"Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician"
"My gf just sat me down and confessed to me that she used to be a Christian. It came as quite a shock; I've only ever known her as Christine"