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Joke of the Day

"Tip: ""Montreal"" is short for ""Monsters Are Real."" The city was originally given this name due to its abundance of monsters."

"What does sex have in common with a savings account... What does sex have in common with a savings account? Answer is: ""You lose interest once you make a withdrawal""."

"My GPA is underwater I Guess you could say it's below C-level"

"INTERVIEWER: Says here you have sloth-like reflexes? ME: *calls interviewer 3 years later* That is correct."

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't jelly my cock down your throat"

"if america goes the way of greece, we'll be ending all our words with ""ous."" that's ridiculous! omg, it's already started"

"What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts? Bill Nye the Seance guy."

"Doctor: You have acute alcoholism. Me: Thanks, but let me tell you it's not very cute in the morning."

"A lycanthrope transforms in front of his friend for the first time. His friend says ""oh my god, you just turned into a wolf!"" He replies: ""yes. I am a were."""

"Now that dogs have been shown to be able to sniff out cancer, is this the end for the cat scan?"