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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the Asian kid who had that one night stand? He had too many books to fit on it"
Next Joke
"I could tell you that sodium hydroxide is a liquid out of solution. But then that would be a lye."
"Me: I know you from somewhere Jesus: I get that a lot Me: no I'm sure Jesus: just one of those faces Me: [holding arms out] go like this"
"No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead."
"'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'"
"""What're you in for?"" ""I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it."" ""We've all been there, brother."""
"me: *pretending to know about vegetables to impress the cashier* corm is one of my favorite yellows *gingerly taps banana*"
"Dont hit me! Thats whats she said. Bazzinga"
"Some people you know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window."
"What do you call Iron Man when he is feeling sad? A bit of a Downey"