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Joke of the Day

"Wayne LaPierre, head of the NRA, gets on a podium and encourages all black men in America to buy guns to protect themselves from white guys with guns. Just kidding."

"Every time a famous music composer dies... ... he starts decomposing."

"My boyfriend wants to do it like three times a week-----together. He's so demanding!"

"A Republican, a Democrat, and a Socialist live in the same building. One day there is a fire, but only the Socialist dies. Why? everyone else was at work."

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance......... The 5 stages of wearing a condom."

"Neighbor: Yard sale huh? How much's mower? Me: $50 Him: Wait! That's the one you borrowed from me! Me: $20 Him: Its a $500 mower! Me: ..$100"

"*at party* Guy: Want to dance? Me: I'm sorry but I cannot, in good conscience, leave this cheese ball unattended."

"What has no legs, nor arms, but sucks a mean dick? A vacuum cleaner."

"Everybody knows about Trumps reality show, ""the Apprentice."" But, did you know about Hillary's show? ""the Biggest Loser."""

"A group of Africans were playing Chinese whispers one goes to the other 'Ebola, pass it on'"