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Joke of the Day

"What did the stuttering Mexican say to his friend when he tried to steal his food? These are nacho-nachos."

"Welcome to AlzheimersAware.co.uk. Forgot your password? Of course you did."

"Death be not proud. Death not so great with words, but happy to go out with any girl you want fix Death up with."

"I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said thank you. I said don't mention it."

"This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop... I can raise my cat any way I want to."

"Why does Donald Trump dislike trees? Because they're brown and don't speak English."

"It would be easier to keep my New Year's resolution to accept and forgive people if they'd stop being the same jerks they were last year."

"Today is my 18th wedding anniversary. If my husband doesn't give me a divorce as a gift I'm telling his girlfriend."

"How much does a rock weigh? One stone."

"Before we announce the winner of the Best Bomb Defuser award let's pause for a moment to remember the runner-ups"