97426

Joke of the Day

"My son was crying and asked, ""why doesn't the dog have to wear pants?"" And it's like, I don't even know. So now I'm putting pants on a dog."

"What do you call someone who is good at fishing? A Master Baiter."

"Why do we feel like whistleblowers right now? Because we're Snowedin."

"With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Happy Thanksgiving!"

"I hate the French They give me the Crepes"

"I'd like to stab you now. Please step off my carpet and onto the tile."

"How is a broken clock better than a politician? The clock is still right twice a day."

"What do you call a Mexican nurse? [A care beaner.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carabiner)"

"truth is, nobody can parkour better than squirrels.. nobody"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottsman? Mick Jagger says ""Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"" A Scottsman says ""Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"""