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Joke of the Day

"I swapped my wife's parachute around with her backpack. Now when the bitch goes on her stupid camping holiday, all she will have is a parachute. *copypaste from sickipedia.org*"

"Man l: ""I got my wife a VCP for her birthday"" Man 2: ""Don't you mean a VCR?"" Man 1: ""No a VCP . . . Very Cheap Present!"""

"Why don't mountains get cold in the winter? They wear snowcaps."

"Today I Learned.... Jumble Boogie browrearrr browrearrr"

"A tragic haiku hipsters panicking need a new pretentious food quinoa's too mainstream"

"Real redneck woman. How do you know you're with a real redneck woman? She can put in a dip know what to spit and what to swallow."

"I went to my doctor and he told me I had to stop masturbating... I asked him why, and he said ""So I can examine you!"""

"Why did the pig quit running the the marathon? He had a problem with his hamstring."

"In a parallel universe, cartoons are watching us and thinking ""how sad, they die if you drop an anvil on their heads..."""

"What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher? ""I can't, I'm not a conductor."" Pffffffhehewheheheheheh."