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Joke of the Day

"When people put pics of their vacation on FB I write: I saw fire trucks outside your house but I'm sure you already know, have a great time!"

"What do you call a lesbian Eskimo? A Klondike."

"The new pope sure lives up to his religion. His roamin around all over the place!"

"My hair's gone mad today if anyone needs a small furry animal smuggled anywhere."

"How are hanging upside-down and getting a boner alike? All the blood goes to your head."

"What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? You can't violin with the electric meter"

"If I am ever on life support, unplug me ... ... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"I was down the gym this morning, when I noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to get my finger in... ...Anyway, she's now made a formal complaint and I'm barred for life."

"The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know."

"What do chefs do when they are cooking in an emergency? They take drastic measures."