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Joke of the Day

"""I've been a bad girl,"" she said. ""I need to be punished."" So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"Why can't bike stand on its own? ...because it's two tired."

"What do you call a 10 ten old Irish boy who doesn't go to church? A virgin"

"I think if I was a lifeguard I would just talk shit through my megaphone. ""WHAT WERE YOU THINKING... WHO WEARS CARGO SHORTS TO THE POOL."""

"What is the definition of a menstrual period ? A bloody waste of fucking time."

"What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth? Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue."

"The Tin Man carries around an axe because he is constantly afraid Ironman is going to hit on his wife."

"When you are finished with a corncob pipe, you can just feed it to a nearby pig. The Lord is amazing."

"Aha, I see the Fuck-Up Fairy has visited us again! "

"A fun thing to yell at a magic show is ""BURN HIM, HE'S A WITCH"""