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Joke of the Day

"""I've been a bad girl,"" she said. ""I need to be punished."" So I installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"Go into a bathroom stall and write: ""For A Good Time Call Your Mother. She Misses You & Enjoys Hearing Your Voice."""

"My grandma had a lock installed on her medicine cabinet poor thing no one's ever going to visit her again"

"On a scale of 1 to Canadian bacon, how sad were you when you found out Hamlet wasn't a story about a tiny, baby ham?"

"Mo' money mo' problems might be true, but I'd still like to find out for myself."

"My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location."

"What is the best Vitamin for friendship? B1. Because no one wants to be friends with a guy in a metabolic coma due to a thiamine deficiency."

"To women over 40, a guy with a belly and a sense of humor is a great catch. A guy who's buff is considered a narcissist and a pole-smoker."

"Geology rocks"

"Why are black fathers always missing? Because white cops always shoot them for no reason."