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Joke of the Day

"""What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you tried to stop me"" -guy who invented sports"

"I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo.... ...I don't even have any coconuts"

"Our son brought weed to Show & Tell and the teacher sent him home with $50 pinned to his shirt."

"I'm going to go out on a limb here and fall off obviously."

"How many Vegans does it take to eat a cheeseburger? Only one... if no one is looking!"

"Teacher: I wished you would pay a little attention Pupil: I'm paying as little as I can !"

"I wonder how many illegitimate socks are out there because of me?"

"The news report was that an elevator for the coal shaft broke down, trapping 27 workers But it was just a miner inconvenience"

"If someone eggs your house, you can save time cleaning up by just baking your house into a cake."

"I drop kicked a Japanese woman today After holding the door open for her, she said to me ""Sank you"" How dare she bring up Pearl Harbor like that after my nice gesture!"