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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear that NYC paid Hillary Clinton $2,000,000 as a consultant for New Years Eve? They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second."

Next Joke
 
"Everything always ends well. If not it's probably not the end."
"Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation."
"""Kiss me"", moaned the attractive blonde... ""Absolutely not"", replies her doctor. ""It would be most unprofessional of me. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be fucking you!"""
"*Ahem, ahem* So... A needle pulling thread... "
"So, I saw the movie Still Alice last night. It's easily forgettable."
"What do you call a construction company that only employs midgets? Clearly short handed."
"So I just turned 21 and there is still no change in my eyesight... when do I get my adult supervision?"
"Kids: *doing something they shouldn't* Me: Stop or I'll be mad Kids: *keep doing it* Me: Stop or Mom will be mad Kids:*stop immediately*"
"Why did the male koala invite the female koala over to his bamboo. He wanted to have a treesome."
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