95651

Joke of the Day

"To avoid being raped when I am in jail... I stick a tube of toothpaste up my ass for complete cavity protection."

"You know how you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!"

"I ran into my ex husband the other day. I could have sworn the light was green."

"Have you ever thought about dying instantly? couldn't hurt."

"[Talking w/Doc] The wife wants to try period sex ""Seems unsanitary to me"" I dont think u understand- *wife bursts in wearing medieval armor*"

"""PSST."" It came from my waffles. ""PSST,"" again. ""What?"" I ask, furtively. ""You look really nice today."" Complimentary Breakfast"

"Fish Joke of the Day I want to krill myself."

"I never argue, I just explain why I'm right."

"Its Valentines Day...If u r married go & kiss your wife or husband , if u have a gfbf ..do the same ..n if u r single ,,,,kiss the ground and thank GOD !! =)). HAPPY VALENTINES DAY"

"I really don't have much of an opinion on alcoholic beverages during the holidays... You could say I'm pretty eggnogstic."