95050

Joke of the Day

"You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It's awful. You can't even move, you're drenched in sweat, and your scout master is covering your mouth."

"Why do bald guys have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."

"""No comment"" said no woman, ever"

"I like my presidents like I like my slaves Cautious and skeptical about ideas that start off with ""I ran"""

"Men who enjoy making their girlfriends jealous, good luck dealing with the crazy psycho you created."

"Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?"

"My son just asked what erectile dysfunction is so I told him it's when your anaconda don't want none regardless of the presence of buns."

"Bad joke I made but thought it was clever in 4th grade What do you get when you slice ice cream? Slice cream! ... I think I'll join the reposting group now..."

"Where does Santa keep his nuts? In his nutsack..."

"Me: That tree is impeckable ""Don't you mean impeccable?"" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?"