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Joke of the Day

"You know when your cat looks at your kids like ""thanks to you I've been out of food for 3 days and nobody's noticed"" .....?"

"Q: How are Boris Becker and President Clinton alike? A: Both aren't as successful when they're not on grass."

"What do you call some who is afraid of Santa? Clausetrophobic. I'm here all week."

"My dad is so cheap. He scolded me for running home behind the bus once, and saving the *fare. He said I should have run behind a taxi, and saved a lot more."

"ruins all credibility when a rapper says he's ""depressed"" in a song. know who else is depressed? my 14 year old son Greg"

"what kind of biscuit can fly? a PLANE biscuit"

"A child asks his father how to be happy. He replied, ""I never knew what real happiness was until I got married..."" ""...and then it was too late."""

"My dog is a nuisance. He chases everyone on a bicycle. What can I do? Take his bike away."

"A guy walks into a bar... The patient then exhibited signs of a concussion and a minor subdermal hematoma. Edit: Yes, a version of, ""A guy walks into a bar... and says 'ouch'."""

"I hate girls with double standards unless they're pretty"