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Joke of the Day

"*smashes car through your living room* Fancy meeting you here, have you been getting my text messages?"

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"What did Russia say to Ukraine? Crimea River"
"If Donald Trump becomes president.. If Donald Trump becomes president of an Island population of only himself, there will still be anarchy."
"In a hurry? I'll tell you a joke about my penis. It's short."
"She said: ""I want to have your children."" . Me: ""They'll be on the first bus in the morning."""
"Theft solution: Tits. Nobody is thinking about larceny when they're looking at tits. So ladies, help stop crime... show us your tits."
"Yuppie cannibals shop at Whole Dudes."
"jesus could get on twitter and be like ""fear not, child. i know for a fact that your going to heaven!"" and someone would be like ""you're""."
"Introverts have fun too, we just don't care if you know..."
"What's 9 inches long, rock hard, full of semen, and the ladies scream at? my cock."
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