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Joke of the Day

"People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys.. Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and fingerpaints.."

"When brains do it it the butt do they call it ...brainal?"

"Excuse me - can you tell me the way to the Staten Island Ferry? Thpeaking."

"""I'll sleep when I'm Ned!"" -Exhausted pre-op who plans to go by Ned after the surgery"

"What does DNA stand for? the National Dyslexic Association!"

"Would it have been more or less racist if Air Bud had been a black lab?"

"I just bought a new boomerang How do I get rid of the old one ?"

"Johnny sees that his dad has a black eye He asks him, ""Dad, why do you have a black eye?"" His dad replies, ""You're gonna have two if your girlfriends keep leaving their panties in my car"""

"when u r a responsible man so u finger ur throat to puke your beer up so u ain't 2 drunk 2 driver"

"Are you a guitar? Because I want to wrap my hands around your neck."