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Joke of the Day

"Why did the blonde tip-toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills."

"#GrandTheftAutoMemories banging a hooker in my car, shooting her to get my money back, then going home to play Grand Theft Auto."

"What do you call a seven course Irish meal? A 6-pack and a potato."

"My wife was complaining that nobody ever phoned her, so I put a ""How's my driving?"" sticker on her car. Her phone hasn't stopped ringing since."

"What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose? Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love? Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!"

"""I just got engaged!"" -- Starship Enterprise"

"Health insurance is rare for exotic dancers. Most strippers have little or no coverage."

"Sometimes when I look into the toilet I realize that I'm not a regular guy."

"When your only tool is a hammer, every problem looks like your brother in law Steve"

"An unconvincing lie on a resume I good English speak."