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Joke of the Day

"A guy asks a librarian if she has a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat She says, ""It rings a bell but I can't be certain."""

"Usain bolt is very good at running... He had tons of practice trying to escape the police when he was a kid."

"What did the decorators say when they went to church? ""Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"""

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes"

"My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician"

"Cops in movies keeping guard outside hospital rooms have a 0% success rate."

"An Andrew Dice Clay-esqe bit There was an Old Lady who swallowed a fly. She made $50."

"You know who hates unexpected visitors? Osama Bin Ladin"

"Q: Why did the ghoul eat a light bulb? A: Because he was in need of a light snack."

"Baby, are you a silent movie? Because when you talk I don't hear shit."