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Joke of the Day

"unstable person: ""when there is no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth"" stable person: ""i look after the horses"""

"I tried to propose to my girlfriend from Thailand today but it went wrong. As soon as i got down on one knee she started undoing her skirt"

"Why does Tyler Perry put his name on everything he makes? So you know what shows *not* to watch."

"I want to become a lawyer just so I can defend all my clients in court by saying, ""I mean, don't we all make mistakes"""

"My friend decided to get a tattoo of Pi on his face. It was an irrational decision."

"Why are teachers always making answer keys? So they can open doors of opportunity for their students."

"What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a leprechaun? The Easter Blarney!"

"A joke I saw today I found my pet mouse Elvis dead today, he was caught in a trap..."

"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender goes, ""Why the long face?"" So the horse proceeds to rampage around the bar because he's a fucking horse."

"What do you call a PED for bears? Polaroids."