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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry CO2, but I'm leaving you you're suffocating me!"

"My wife showed me her baby photos. She said, ""Here's one of me when I was 3."" I replied, ""Wow, and there's me thinking you were like a fine wine."""

"My marriage counselor told me that I suffer from premature ejaculation... I said...""I don't suffer."""

"What's a racist's favorite race? The 3k."

"I'm writing a ""Choose Your Own Adventure"" book about being in a Chinese family. No matter what page you turn to, you're never good enough"

"Two friends: - I heard that you have founded a musical band. - Yes it is a quartet. - How many are you? - We are three. - Three? - Me and my brother. - You have a brother? - No why do you ask?"

"Has a conversation in my head - Cackles with mirth"

"The last time I had a conversation about the Hindenburg It went up in flames."

"NSFW My wife demanded that I get a penis enlarger, so I did. .... ....she's 27 and her name is Heather."

"A day in the life of a dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next door neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy and his owner beats him on a daily basis."